I met the friendliest cop last night
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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