Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
