woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
