operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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