can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
