fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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