What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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