The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
