so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
how drunk are you?
Several
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize