Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
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My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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