Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
