i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
