He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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