I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize