I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
