Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
