I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
