So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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