if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
