i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
