I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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