Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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