Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
