im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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