nutella sex= disaster
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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