I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i love accidental penises.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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