I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
