remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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