the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
