carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
