I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize