I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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