we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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