i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
