The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
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It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
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We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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