I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
