If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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