Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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