so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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