I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.