Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF