Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

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(301): View more from Maryland

My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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(254): View more from Texas

Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

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(819): View more from Quebec

there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i can only hope to be on your level one day.

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(406): View more from Montana

There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night

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(407): View more from Florida

My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?

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