I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize