My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just google imaged poop.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
