You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
