he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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