he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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