guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
