Pappa wants mamma naked
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
