sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
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So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
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there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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