Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
