this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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