If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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