I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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