i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
