The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
