I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
